The Traditional Japanese Maternal Role - Expectations of new mothers- The pressure to succeed

Bettering the Family Status

Traditionally, a lot of pressure has been placed on new mothers to raise a child who will reflect the success of her family. As motherhood was considered a woman’s most important role, the child also represented her own success as a woman. The Japanese culture is one that stresses loyalty and respect for the community above one’s own desires. As a result, there is a strong desire to continuously seek the group’s approval and to make a strong contribution to the family’s public image4. Thus, the role of motherhood carries many cultural responsibilities for the first time mother.

Confidence in Raising a Child to “Fit In”

In Japan, mothers are expected to raise a child who will easily fit into the larger social structure5. Traits such as generosity, honesty, and pleasantness, as well as cheerfulness and friendliness are highly valued. While doing this, the mother is supposed to remain calm, relaxed, and not be overprotective, overly worried or anxious. The Japanese women had interesting reactions when asked open ended questions about their role. About 25% of the women responded that they felt no confidence about their impending role as mother.

On the other hand, American women also mentioned anxiety regarding their role as mothers. Unlike the Japanese women, they did not emphasize feeling socially pressured about their upcoming roles as mothers. Interestingly, although the Japanese women did not have a clear guideline for child rearing, the American women seemed to consistently refer to a set of guidelines which included giving love, shelter, mental stimulation, and time and attention. Whereas the Japanese women said they felt anxious and nervous about motherhood, the American women reported feeling prepared, secure, eager and confident about their upcoming role.

The Japanese mother’s own sense of pride in achievement compounded by the risk of failure in the eyes of her community contributes to her anxiety5.

he Japanese culture acknowledges a psychological condition called Kyoiku Noiroze, or child-rearing neurosis. The condition is one in which the mother feels irritated and burdened by too much work as a result of caring too much for her child’s welfare or psychological weakness18. The cause of Kyoiku Nioroze is thought to be centered in the mother. She is often thought to be weak minded, self-centered and lacking in patience and responsibility. Women of younger generations began to feel that the child-rearing neurosis did not originate in the mother’s shortcomings, but was a phenomenon that occurs outside of the mother’s controll5.

Thus, it seems that at least historically, the Japanese mother’s experience of anticipating her first child is filled with anxiety and nervousness. Intense social and personal pressure to succeed at an overwhelming task controls the mind of the young Japanese mother to be. The importance of improving the family’s reputation is deeply rooted in Japanese culture and is felt strongly by mothers. On the other hand, the American mothers’ confidence in the maternal role seems to be in keeping with the suggested American values of self-confidence and self- assurance5. This difference in cultural attitudes regarding motherhood should also be considered by health care professionals treating pregnant women. However, healthcare professionals have a limited ability to become well versed in the culturally specific customs of all world cultures, women of different cultures should have access to resources that will allow them to understand where potential misunderstandings and obstacles may occur related to their pregnancy and postpartum period.

 

Clarifying the Concept of Amae

In the U.S. it seems that the concept of amae could be confused with dependence. However, the difference is that, “. . . amae can be considered as an attempt to exert control over one’s environment, whereas with dependence one usually gives up control11. In amae, one seeks to control the environment using someone stronger than oneself (for example, the mother). In this respect, amae is also called control by proxy11. When the mother accepts the behavior or request of the child, the mother is considered to be under the control of the child. As mentioned before amae is considered secure and appropriate only when the request is accepted by the mother. Amae is considered healthy in that, “Amae actors in Asian cultures can avoid primary control syndrome, such as personal agency, dominance, and aggression, which disrupts interpersonal harmony” 11. The Japanese child is then successfully controlling his/her environment, while still observing cultural attitudes regarding politeness and the importance of preserving harmony with in the community 11. On the other hand dependence is seen a giving up of power. In dependent situations, the actor or child is not in control and needs someone else to make decisions for them. Instead of influencing another’s behavior, as in amae, a dependent child is being influenced by another 11.

In Japan, the parent-child relationship is more “interdependent” than in the US. The concept of amae or “depending on another’s good will” is central to the Japanese family values. This interdependence stands as one of the highest held values of Japanese society. “The Japanese mother is perceived as self-sacrificing, self-effacing, and supportive. Japanese infants are considered independent beings in which interdependence needs to be fostered, whereas American infants are considered dependent beings in which independence needs to be developed. (p.18)”12.

Parent-Child Relationships

In Japan, the parent-child relationship is more “interdependent” than in the US. The concept of amae or “depending on another’s good will” is central to the Japanese family values. This interdependence stands as one of the highest held values of Japanese society. “The Japanese mother is perceived as self-sacrificing, self-effacing, and supportive. Japanese infants are considered independent beings in which interdependence needs to be fostered, whereas American infants are considered dependent beings in which independence needs to be developed. (p.18)”8

 

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